Q. What's the difference between an accordion and a macaw?
A. One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get away from the accordion recital.
Q. What is the best thing to play on an accordion ?
A. A flame thrower.
Q. What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
A. You should take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.
Q. What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?
A. People cry when you chop up an onion.
Q. What do you get when you toss an accordion off a tall building?
A. Applause.
Q. Why do some people have an instant aversion to accordion players?
A. It saves time in the long run.
Q. When does a accordion player sound the best?
A. When the tune is over.
Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the accordion and doesn't.
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Q. What do accordion players use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
Q. What's the difference between a dead accordion player in the road and a dead
squirrel in the road?
A. The squirrel was probably on his way to a gig.
Q. What kind of calendar does an accordion player use for his gigs?
A. "Year-at-a-Glance."
Q. What do you call a accordion player with a beeper?
A. An optimist.
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